I'll Be Dead...-to page 74

In the fourth grade, Daelyn was invited to a birthday party. She was excited, she had never been invited to anything before. She wore a nice dress and showed up at the house. No one was home when they knocked. They turned around and saw from the second story of the house across the street, a window of girls laughing. Kim didn't get it, saying they had the wrong address, but Daelyn told her mom she had made a mistake, and they should go home. The closest she ever came to having a friend was when a new girl (like her) sat with at lunch one day. She was from a foreign country and sat with Daelyn, talking away at her. Daelyn didn't say anything, she wasn't mute then but she was close to tears that this girl was sharing her company.

Everything is numbered. Daelyn counts everything. Including the days until her life is over. She sits down on the bench, Santana on the other side. He scoots a note toward her. She decides not to ignore it. It says "I'm sorry. I didn't know you couldn't talk. I just assumed you had amazing self control. You'd have to, to spurn my advances." Yes. He says things like that. A lot. He starts playing games with her. He slides her a note asking how to spell her name with a bunch of impossible spellings, and one where she is supposed to fill in her name, asking him out. He asks if she wants him to go away she should blink once. She does. He asks if she is playing hard to get she should blink once. She blinks, then realizes what she just did...he is just taking advantage of the fact that she is mute now. Daelyn runs to the car when her mom pulls up. Santana follows. Persistence.

Daelyn does the math. Fifteen days. That's 360 hours. Her life will have come to a full circle.

Daelyn has been through a lot of bullying. Her dad, Chip, told her "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". A classic saying, that is so not true. My grandmother is an anti-bullying activist and she says: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will rip my heart out. This is absolutely true. Physical wounds heal much faster than mental wounds. This is the way Daelyn feels also. She has not gotten over any of the childhood names she was called, all the times she was excluded.

Daelyn has 2 weeks left now. She is on her computer in the morning and discovers a note Santana left her. She opens it up and it says Hervehotsu. On the back it says IM me. She doesn't want to set herself up like that. At school, she gets a test grade back. It's a D-. The girl next to her grabs her paper and extends the legs on the D so it looks like an A-. She smiles at Daelyn. Why did people have to make contact now?